Thursday, November 28, 2013

Don't Jinx It

It's been a month since I posted.  It's been a very uninteresting month and that is why I have stayed away.

No major battles, just the normal little ones going on here.  I have been reluctant to write about it, the peace that is, because I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Which sounds terrible now that I've typed it out.  But it always seems that when calm hits the house, the moment I get settled in it, the war breaks out again.

I don't know what is causing his change this month.  He admitted that he's missed appointments with his counselor because of scheduling issues.  He has admitted to not even working on the things he promised he would.  But for some reason, he is more even keeled than normal.

It's a welcome change this Thanksgiving.  Holidays are so tough for us both and he gets overwhelmed with it all very easily it seems.  Though, we aren't spending the holidays with family this year so I hope this peace can last through the new year.  Or close to it anyway.

We are not necessarily laughing more, but we are able to spend time together and be silent and calm.  He is being great about expressing himself BEFORE he is too escalated to do anything and he is respecting my boundaries of not being willing to talk to him when he is like that.  So over all, the baby steps we are making are good.

I am still waiting for the shoe to drop.  I am still cautious about letting myself think this change might be a continuing thing VS a fluke.  Even as I'm typing, I'm nervous about hitting publish on the chance that it's a jinx I'm bringing on myself.  And maybe it will be. 

But for now, we will enjoy our Thanksgiving quietly.  No big dinner, no trip to see family.  Just us.  And hopefully the calm start to the holidays will bring a wave of calm throughout them.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and please remember to think of those who are not able to be with their family.


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