One day I will be brave. One day I will greet each day with not only a hopeful smile, but an attitude that shows the world that I can take whatever is thrown at me. One day, I will wake up and just know that I can handle anything.
The truth is I am not brave. I am not strong, I am not anything remotely like that. I put on a great show of how thick skinned I am, how confidently I move, how sure my voice is. There is never a falter, never a stutter, never a second thought. I move with the confidence of a woman who knows what to do, what she wants and who she is.
One day I will be brave, because I am not a confident woman who knows what she wants, what to do or who she is. I am a girl. I am a young girl who’s fingers shake when no one is watching, who’s mind second guesses every confident gesture and decision she makes and who falters, stutters, and questions everything.
I am not thick skinned. Beneath the exterior that shows the stones thrown at me will bounce off without so much as a hint that they even landed, lies a girl who is mortally wounded by each hurtful thing said to her. My heart breaks so easily.
But one day, I will be brave. One day, I will face those stones and shatter them before they even have a chance to hit me. I will truly face the world knowing that I can do anything, I can master anything, I can accomplish anything. I will not be afraid of failure because I will not fail. I will learn and grow and master my mistakes and own them. I will see them as stepping stones to guide my way. I will see them as paths better left unexplored. I will see them as a way to show the world that nothing will stop this girl.
I will be brave one day.
It might not be tomorrow, but each day that passes helps me gain the strength I need. I know that someday soon I will be brave and not just pretending.