For too long now I have been so focused on treading water that I have forgotten that I love to swim.
When you spend so long trying to keep your head above water because you feel like you are drowning and no one is throwing you a life line. You are so exhausted that the joy of the water, the bobbing up and down, begins to become part of the struggle. You can long longer feel refreshed and light as the water encourages your buoyancy, instead all you can see are potential wave caps around you threatening to take you under.
Right now, one of the focuses of my life has become trying to just enjoy the little things. I'm stressed, overwhelmed, angry at the world, angry at my husband and grieving the loss of a man I hardly had the chance to get to know as a partner life. What I need are little victories that keep me swimming forward. If that means some days I do nothing, then so be it, I will not (well I will TRY not to) feel guilty.
Everyone needs to have a chance to enjoy the coolness of the water around them and how refreshing it can be to just swim, and not focus so much on the worry that you will drown if you stop treading water.