Wednesday, December 12, 2012


Some days I lie awake in bed unsure of how I feel.  I guess helpless would be the word.  But hopeful is not too far away from the thoughts that are flittering through my head.

I can't force change and I can't force things to get better.  Sometimes I wish I could just scream at the world the way you would scold a child for doing something wrong.  I want to scream at the universe and tell them that what has been done to my husband is wrong.  The pain he is suffering is wrong. The hurt I know he is trying to hide is wrong.

How can you make someone who doesn't like himself understand that you love him?  He wakes up everyday and looks into the mirror at a person he doesn't think deserves life or love.  But I love him.  I wish I could make him see the world around him the way it truly is.  It can be a beautiful place, even when it's been scarred.  He is still a wonderful man, even with the scars he has.

But the Universe is not fair.  Life is not fair.  Good things happen to bad people, or so the cliche goes.  And that means that sometimes, we have to adapt to the challenges we face.  Adapt and Overcome is the motto in our house, not just in the Marine Corps.  And sometimes, you have to make have to make the world beautiful, because it's not always so on it's own.


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