Monday, December 3, 2012

When Do I Leave?

In the short time since I’ve started my blog, I’ve had a number of people reach out to me.  It’s hard to feel alone and we all need a little understanding.  But so far, the most common question I get asked is, “how do I know when to leave?”

I don’t know that I have an answer for that question.

This blog is really just a collection of my pent up frustrations, my overwhelming emotional outbursts, all sprinkled with anything I can offer to others who might not have anyone to turn to.  

But here’s how I feel about leaving:  I think about doing it all the time.  I really do.  I think we probably all do.  We fell taken for granted.  We feel ignored, isolated, lonely and sad.  Our whole existence has become taking care of someone who hates us for doing it.  How to you wake up each day and keep loving someone who pushes you away?  I guess you just do.  I mean, we do, don’t we?

I think the decision to leave your spouse is so beyond personal.  But if you are waking up still wanting to stay and help most of the time, then it’s probably not time for you to give up.  If you are unsafe, or you have hit the maximum of what you can emotionally endure, then it’s a good time to reevaluate your situation. 

You will never hear me judge someone for staying or leaving.  It’s such a personal choice that is dependent on so many factors.  I encourage everyone to seek counseling if you can, both personal and marriage.  I encourage you to continually evaluate the situation and know that there is no shame in feeling defeated.  There is no shame in staying or leaving. 

I know that I had to make a choice and my choice was to stick this out to the bitter end, but we all reach our crossroad at different points.  And when you do, the choice of which way to turn can only be decided by you.


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