One Day, I Will Be Brave

One day I will be brave.  One day I will greet each day with not only a hopeful smile, but an attitude that shows the world that I can take whatever is thrown at me.  One day, I will wake up and just know that I can handle anything. 

The truth is I am not brave.  I am not strong, I am not anything remotely like that.  I put on a great show of how thick skinned I am, how confidently I move, how sure my voice is.  There is never a falter, never a stutter, never a second thought.  I move with the confidence of a woman who knows what to do, what she wants and who she is. 

One day I will be brave, because I am not a confident woman who knows what she wants, what to do or who she is.  I am a girl.  I am a young girl who’s fingers shake when no one is watching, who’s mind second guesses every confident gesture and decision she makes and who falters, stutters, and questions everything. 

I am not thick skinned.  Beneath the exterior that shows the stones thrown at me will bounce off without so much as a hint that they even landed, lies a girl who is mortally wounded by each hurtful thing said to her.  My heart breaks so easily. 

But one day, I will be brave.  One day, I will face those stones and shatter them before they even have a chance to hit me.  I will truly face the world knowing that I can do anything, I can master anything, I can accomplish anything.  I will not be afraid of failure because I will not fail.  I will learn and grow and master my mistakes and own them.  I will see them as stepping stones to guide my way.  I will see them as paths better left unexplored.  I will see them as a way to show the world that nothing will stop this girl. 

I will be brave one day. 

It might not be tomorrow, but each day that passes helps me gain the strength I need.  I know that someday soon I will be brave and not just pretending.