Do you ever have times in your life where you just feel so defeated that you don't know what to do? It's not even military related, it's just a situation I've been put in, that unfortunately isn't something I can really talk to anyone about. I can't go into specifics here either, but I'm hitting a point where it's not any one BIG thing to go wrong, it's these stupid little battles and frustrations each day. Stupid little things going wrong, that are all building each day and I just had the final nail in the coffin.
I just... I've hit a point where I feel like throwing my hands in the air and giving up. Giving up on my dreams, giving up on everything. Why wake up each day and fight? Why wake up each day and push through? My mantra has always been strength, nothing that is worth it comes easy right? But why? Why fight this hard for something so simple?
Why fight so hard for anything if you will just be waking up tomorrow to a new battle, a new struggle, something else going wrong, someone else being unwilling to help.
I crawl in bed every night and tell myself that tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is a day to start over. I don't have to carry these burdens. Each moment we live is another chance. Each day an opportunity to try again. But why?
It feels like I've been walking up hill for so long. When do I finally reach the peak? I'm not even talking about PTSD, or the troubles with my husband, but just... life. just... life.