Monday, January 21, 2013

The Ups and Downs

Being that my spouse has PTSD, we live with a lot of ups and downs.  I often feel like more downs than ups to be honest. 

The other day, my husband woke up mad at the world and frustrated with life.  When he wakes up in these moods, it's a safe bet that it's going to be a down kind of day. He fights, he's grumpy and nothing I can do is going to be the right thing.

So he woke up and stomped his way around the house.  He yelled belligerently at me, he made wild accusations and refused to let me end the conversations.  This is what he does.  He then refused to talk to me for days because I wouldn't give in.  This is also what he does.

Then he just came home one night in the best mood he could be in, apologized and that was that.  The mood was lifted, the down became an up and life moved on. 

That is just how our life is sometimes.  Like I said, sometimes it feels like it's more down than up, but it swings both ways.  But I never know which way it's swinging until he opens his mouth to speak to me (assuming he's speaking to me at all). 

The ups and downs can be a lot to cope with.  It's not that I don't scream back or cry or walk away.  It's not that I always react perfectly, it just means that this is our life.  The ups, and the downs.


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